


Oh, The Irony

by QueenOfRohirrim



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, And he’s Careless, And he’s Loud, Coitus Interruptus, He’s a Slut, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Robert Is Also A Bi In Denial, Robert being Robert, Smut, Stannis Is Not Amused
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-05
Updated: 2020-01-05
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:00:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22127527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenOfRohirrim/pseuds/QueenOfRohirrim
Summary: Stannis finds Robert and Ned in a very compromising position.
Relationships: Robert Baratheon/Ned Stark, Stannis Baratheon/Davos Seaworth (mentioned)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 49





	Oh, The Irony

“Ned!” Robert’s cries of pleasure were a welcome enough sound under any normal circumstance, but this time neither of them could afford to be so loud.

“Shh!” Eddard hushed his lover, bending to kiss him and hopefully swallow up all of the pretty sounds he was making. “Your brothers are asleep just upstairs, Luv.”

“Fuck them...” Robert groaned into Ned’s kisses, desperately arching his hips upward in an attempt to get his partner moving again. 

“Quiet.” Ned commanded him before he would even think of picking his thrusts back up.

“Just move!” Robert whined at him, moaning then with great appreciation when Ned did just that, quickening his movements gradually and fucking him into the soft cushions of the couch beneath them. 

“Harder...” Robert huffed, stroking himself in time with Eddard’s pushes and pulls in and out of him. “Fuck, Ned! Eddard! More!”

“Hush!” Ned scolded him again, placing a hand over Robert’s mouth this time to keep him quiet. 

Robert seemed to liked that quite a bit, actually, so they continued on, Ned making sure that Robert’s screams were muffled. 

“You should let me tie you up as well...” Eddard whispered softly into Robert’s ear, his voice thick with lust as he was nearing his climax.

Robert groaned against Ned’s palm, close to his own release as well, and the images of Ned tying his hands behind his back so that he couldn’t get away were pulling him even closer to the edge.

Only then, they were joined by an outraged third party, and the joy of their lovemaking was immediately put to a stop.

“WHAT IN SEVEN HELLS ARE YOU DOING!?” Stannis screeched at the top of his lungs after flipping the light switch at the bottom of the staircase and finding his brother and Ned Stark in the middle of a lover’s tryst. 

Of course he was shocked! It was only last week that Robert had gone off about the naughty gay magazine that he’d found in Renly’s desk drawer and declared that the lad would never truly be a man if those were the kind of habits he chose to tie himself to.

Robert was equally as disgusted when he’d been introduced to Davos formally and told of what exactly the nature of his relationship with Stannis entailed.

Now here he was, the great womanizer Robert Baratheon, on his back with another man’s cock up his ass!

Stannis wanted to laugh, truthfully, but at the moment the only emotion he could clearly express was anger.

“Renly’s upstairs, you idiot!” He screamed at Robert, who had pushed Ned away and was now scrambling to find his clothes. “What were you thinking!? I expected better at least from you, Stark!”

Ned couldn’t meet Stannis’s eyes as he also hurried to redress. 

“Listen to me, you little twat!” Robert glared then at his brother. “You tell anyone about this, and I’ll chuck your ungrateful little ass out onto the streets!”

Stannis did laugh then, but it was a cruel and furious laugh. “I pay the bills, Robert.” He reminded his brother. “So good luck with that.”

“Stannis?” Renly’s voice came from further up the stairs then. “I heard yelling. What’s wrong?”

“Go back to your room!” Stannis told their baby brother urgently. “Don’t come down these stairs! Do you understand me?”

Renly quickly backed up through his bedroom door and locked himself in.

“You don’t understand, Stannis!” Robert then tried to cover himself, pulling his pants on and fixing his shirt so that he didn’t appear to be so disheveled. “This isn’t...Whatever you’re thinking! It’s not what this is! I’m not gay!”

Ned Stark had gone quiet, for he’d never been able to tell a blatant lie.

Stannis just shook his head and turned to go back upstairs to sleep. “Whatever, Robert.” He huffed. “I don’t particularly care what you are. Just please refrain from defiling our living room furniture from now on.”

“Stannis!” Robert called after his brother worriedly. “If you tell anyone about this, I swear I’ll wring your skinny little neck!”

Stannis didn’t answer and Robert looked back to Ned with frightened and angered eyes. 

“I did warn you to be quiet.” Eddard reminded him.


End file.
